boys dont cry
by AneuUrysm
Summary: Your awaiting Freda's trial But when the doorbell rings it's your old friend and fling; and she's carrying a baby. you're fine to look after it, for an hour or two, while she does some shopping. Then she doesn't come back and your future suddenly looks very different…
1. Chapter 1

Jamal

Phone in hand. I smiled at the text my man Derek had sent me. My smile didn't last long though. I was too wound-up. Thursday. The Day Freda gatz would get her sentencing for shooting me…well aiming for luscious but like the idiot I was I still jumped in the way to save him. and though I've made out like I've forgiven Freda well. I haven't. I nearly lost my legs because of her. Though I must admit, I wasn't expecting to be quiet so nervous. I knew for certain she would keep her distance in the meantime. What I mean is, I _almost_ knewfor certain. But It was the _almost_ that was a killer. Between facing her in court and filing a restraining order, there was a world of possibilities. If luscious stepped out of line, then she would be out for blood- anything could happen which could put her in a shit mood which she would take out on my family. Hell she could even be planning her revenge right now- for all I knew.

Don't be a plank- she won't come near your mom won't allow it…neither will luscious.

It was simple. She had to stay away. There was no other choice. She came near me she would go straight inside no questions asked with a longer sentencing. And I wouldn't hide from Freda gatz forever.

 _You'll be okay. . ._

Positive thinking. I tried to dredge up confidence from somewhere deep inside. Then felt like even more of a plank and stopped trying. Luscious's words from the night of the shooting ringing in my head ' _you're a disappointment, you aint nothing but a disappointment_ and I knew that no truer words had ever come out of lucious's mouth, despite his efforts to make it up to me and pretend they hadn't been true, Luscious was full of shitty fortune cookie quotes like that _._ And I had, had more than an earful of them though out my life,His life lessons as he called them the things that helped him build his shining dynasty empire, my birth right…of course I had, had a few setbacks when attempting to reign, my youngest brother Hakeem had managed to fish his way into vice chairman of empire which left us all under tight wraps, but empire was rightfully mine and once I was at full strength I would do everything in my power to regain my C. . position of empire. . . whatever the costs. I looked around the dining room nervously hugging my cardigan tight around my body.

 _Jamal stop worrying. She'll be behind bars soon_

The paranoia was just a means to an end, it was just a little slice of some of the after effects I had endured from the incident, like The night terrors, the body aches and…Freda was girl, why was I afraid of a girl a little girl, men shouldn't be afraid of women It was the other way round. I was starting to sound like luscious now. I locked my jaw in frustration and shakily got out of my chair, once Freda's sentencing was over things would be different, she be put away for a very long time. . . I'd make sure of it. my sexuality didn't make me any less of a man and I would not let anyone tell me any different.

Three impatient strides took me to the large living room window. Pushing away the expensive Persian curtains that my mother cookie had insisted on having, I stared up and down the road (I was so high up…what a long way down), the august night was already dark and gloomy. Maybe that was a bad omen- if anyone believed in such things. Out loud, I didn't.

Where the hell was everyone?

Didn't it even occur to them that I was afraid of being alone? That their actions alone had caused this? Funny how a chain of events can change your views on life.

 _Try not to worry. . . try not to worry. . ._

The words played in my mind like a recurring phrase from a really irritating song. I wanted Freda behind bars now and if I had my way I would throw away the key. My whole life could have been wiped away with one click of that gun and that I couldn't forgive. I had flat lined. Felt my very being slipping away from me and no one had any idea how that felt. That fear of the unknown, I didn't see god… I saw darkness. Only darkness.

I let the curtain fall back into place, wiping my dusty hands on my jeans, what was it about dust on Persian curtains that made it feel almost sticky? I eyed the curtains critically. When was the last time they'd seen detergent or a washer? When was the first time, come to that? They'd been hanging there since I'd helped mom put them up, when was that? a year ago, or where abouts? Whenever I was doing house work I'd sucked them down in the vacuum a couple of times, hoping to get rid of some of the dust that way. But the nets were quite fragile. Looking around the room I wondered what I could do to pass time? Something to occupy my mind . . . something to take my thoughts off-

The doorbell rang as if on cue. I was at the door in a heartbeat, throwing it open with eager trepidation in the hopes that It was cookie.

It wasn't mom

It was Skye

I stared at her. It took a couple of seconds to register the fact that she wasn't alone. I stared down at all the contents of the buggy behind her.

'Hello Jamal.'

I didn't say a word. The baby in the buggy had all of my attention.

'C-can I come in?'

'err. . . yeah of course' I stepped to one side. Skye wheeled the buggy past me. I closed the door behind her, frowning. She stood in the hallway biting the corner of her bottom lip. She watched me expectantly like an actress waiting for her cue. But she knew where the living room was, she had been here before.

'go through' I indicated to the open space across the hallway. Following her my thoughts flittered like dancing bees. What was she doing here? I hadn't seen her in... well it had to be well over eight months and things had ended…awkwardly. What did she want?

'babysitting?' I pointed at the buggy.

'yeah you could say that' Skye said looking at the many family photos mom had placed on the window ledge, on either side of her favorite crystal vase around the room, some were of me, more were of Hakeem and dre but most were of luscious and mom before they had started empire. Skye flittered from photo to photo studying each intently before moving on. To be honest I didn't see what was so fascinating.

Whilst Skye was looking at the photos I used the opportunity to eye her. She looked the same as ever, maybe a little heavier around the abdominal area but that was all. She was dressed in leather pants and a dark blue jacket over her light blue vest top. Her lilac hair shorter than the last time I'd seen her shorter and spikier but she was stunning with the biggest brown eyes I had ever seen framed by the longest darkest eyelashes. I glanced down at the small bundle in the buggy which was staring up in fascination at the light fitting in the middle of the ceiling.

'what's its name?'

' _His_ name is Dante.' Pause. 'do you want to hold him?'

'no. I mean, err…no thank you' the words came out in a panicked rush. Was Skye ill or something? I couldn't nor did I want to hold a baby. And she still hadn't said what she was doing here. Not that I wasn't pleased to see her (my old…friend). It'd just been a while that was all. Skye had left Chicago over eight months ago and I hadn't seen or heard from her since. As far as I knew no one had not even the press.

And now she was in my house.

As if reading my mind Skye said, 'I went away to live in L.A. I'm back for a day visiting a friend and, as I was passing by I thought I'd come up and say hi (she said in her horse voice) I hope you don't mind.'

I shook my head and dredged up a smile, feeling unexpectedly awkward.

'I'm going away today actually', Skye continued,

'back to L.A' I assumed.

'No I'm going on tour for a while'

'that's nice…good for you'

Silence

'can I get you something…a drink?' I said at last.

'Err some Champaign… some Champaign would be good, I nodded mutely then shifted on my heels to head for the kitchen and filled a glass of the finest Champaign I owned 'Champagne Krug'.

'There you go' I handed it to her once I got back into the large sitting room.

The glass shook slightly on its way to her lips. Skye took two or three sips then put it down on the glass table. She retrieved a box from her pocket and took out a toke, pushing it between her lips.

'D'you mind if I smoke?' she asked, the flame from her lighter already approaching the cigarette end.

'Err. . . I don't but cookie will. She's an anti-cigarette fascist and she'll be back soon.'

'how soon?' Skye asked sharply.

I shrugged. 'I'm not sure'

Why the urgent tone to her voice? For a second time there she looked almost. . .panicky.

'Oh, OK. Well, the smell will be gone by then', said Skye, lighting up anyway.

Damn it. To tell her the truth, I wasn't keen on cigarettes either. Skye drew on the cigarette like she was trying to suck all the tobacco down her throat. She closed her eyes for a few seconds, then a rush of swirling grey vapor shot out of her nostrils. Minging. And the smell was already filling the room. I sighed inwardly. Cookie was going to do her nut.

Skye opened her eyes to look at me, but didn't say a word. She inhaled the cigarette again like it was an oxygen tube and her only source of air.

'I didn't know you were the type to smoke… especially because your singing career'

'I started nine and a half months ago. It's one of the few pleasures I have left', said Skye.

We regarded each other. The silence stretched between us like taut elastic. Jesus Christ. What was I supposed to say now?

'So how are you? What you been doing in L.A' it wasn't much but it was all I could think of to ask.

'I've been looking after Dante' Skye replied.

'I mean, apart from that?' I persisted a little desperately. A slight smile curved on the corners of Skye's mouth. She shrugged but didn't reply. She turned her head to carry on looking around the room.

Silence.

The baby sneezed.

Some noise to break the scratchy silence. Thank goodness for that.

'what about you' Skye asked, removing the baby from the buggy and cradling it in her arms. Moving the cigarette to the left side of her mouth as she did.

'what've you been up to?' her eyes weren't on me though. She was looking into the face of the tiny thing in her arms. The thing cooed, it's small face scrunching up about to cry before she hushed it holding it closer to her.

'what are your plans. . . after Freda (I cringed at the mention of that bitch's name) I heard about that on the news' for the first time since she'd arrived, she looked directly at me and didn't immediately turn her gaze away. And the look in her eyes was startling. Her face hadn't changed that much since the last time I'd seen her. But her eyes had. They seemed. . . older somehow. and sadder. I shook my head. There went my imagination running off in all directions again. Skye had aged the exact amount of time I had.

'I'm waiting on Freda's sentencing' I said. I'm supposed to find out the dates tomorrow.'

'are you worried?'

'No' I spat quickly composing myself then crossed my fingers holding them up 'Hopefully they put her away for a while, she just another messed up kid from the hood so she's never going to change jails the best place for her' Skye smiled.

'amen' She deadpanned nodding her head 'that sounds more like the Jamal I know'

I shrugged. 'Someone needs to make sure she pays for the pain she's caused'

'And that someone is you?'

How pompous must I have sounded? Embarrassed I smiled. 'didn't you know Jamal Lyon is only my earth name. on my home planet I'm known as Jamal-eon, fighting for cause, justice, gay pride and great music for the world'.

Skye shook her head her lips twitching. 'I'm begging to remember why I used to like you so much'.

Used to? Past tense?

She glanced down at the now sleeping baby in her arms.

'I've had other things on my mind since you dropped our album Jamal'.

'Like'.

'Like Dante for one.'

'who's baby is he? Is he a relative?'

Just at that moment, the baby started to grizzle. Hell! It sounded like the thing was winding up for a long ball.

'his diaper needs changing', said Skye 'hold him for a second. I need to get rid of my toke'.

Skye thrust the baby at me and was already turning so I had no choice but to take it. She heads out of the room and made her way to the kitchen. Getting rid of her cigarette was now academic. The whole room stank.

I held the baby at arm's length. It could have been older than a week maybe a few at max, pulling my head like a turtle to put maximum distance between me and the thing. There was of a running water from the tap, then the bang of a bin lid snapping shut. My hearing was switched up to maximum as I waited for the second I could pass the thing back in my hands.

Skye re-entered the room. With a practiced hand, she opened the outsized navy-blue bag hanging on the back of the buggy, and removed a pale yellow plastic baby mat decorated with multicolored flowers. She lay it down on the ground smoothing it out. Next came the disposable wipes. With a rueful smile, Skye took the small being from my unresisting hands. My sigh of relief was unintentionally audible. But damn! I didn't particularly want to do that again in a hurry. I watched as Skye knelt down on the expensive wooden floor to lay the baby gently onto the plastic mat. Whilst I opened the windows. Skye started talking a heap of rubbish and shushing the hiccupping infant,

And it was getting worse. Stricken, I watched as Skye undid the white all in one baby-gro and, gently extracting the baby's legs from the outfit. She wasn't seriously going to change the baby's nappy on my floor, was she? It looked like she was and I wanted to stop her but what could I say? I watched in horror as Skye undid the diaper.

urgh!

It was filled to overflowing with poop. Sticky, nasty, uber-smelly baby poop. I was amazed I managed to hold down my dinner. But I backed up and backed off double fast. I couldn't have moved faster if the nappy had suddenly sprouted legs and started chasing me around the room.

'you should watch this', Skye said 'you might learn something'

Yeah, right!

'it's quite straightforward', sky continued. 'you lift up his legs slightly by the ankles till his ass is off the diaper, then wipe him until his nice and clean.' Skye dropped the wipes in the solid diaper.

'then you whip out the old ass diaper and place a brand new clean one under his feet. After that you just fasten it like this, making sure it's not too tight and not too lose. And make sure the diapers the right size. It's so simple even you could do it'

'yes but why would I want to, I won't ever have too either women aren't my specialty remember?' I laughed nervously

I mean duh!

After placing the soiled diaper in the orange bag and tying a knot at the top of it, Skye refastened the baby-gro before holding Dante to her gently. The baby's impossibly long eyelashes (which were abnormally long for a newborn baby) fluttered against its cheeks as its eyes closed. Skye handed me the soiled diaper bag. I recoiled in horror.

'could you put that in the trash please?' she smiled.

'err. . . the kitchens is in the same place. Please Help yourself.'

'would you mind holding Dante?'

Oh god. poop or baby? A baby or poop?

I took the diaper out of the Skye's hand, holding it at arm's length between my thumb and index fingertip. I started off carrying it gingerly but decided that speed would be better. So I sprinted to the kitchen as fast as my broken body could take me. Dropping it into the trash can, then washed my hands in the kitchen sink like I was scrubbing to perform surgery. I headed back to the sitting room, Skye's laughter ringing in my ears. Skye looked at me and smiled her eyes crinkling in amusement. I didn't quiet see what was so funny but Skye's toothy grin brought back a rush of unbidden memories, things that I hadn't exactly forgotten, but memories id buried somewhere where they were easily accessible. I sat down more puzzled than ever. What was Skye doing here? Just passing didn't quiet ring true somehow.

'Skye, why. . .?'

'shush. His fallen asleep' Skye whispered placing the infant back in its buggy and she was so gentle the baby didn't stir once. Skye straightened up, biting repeatedly on one side of her bottom lip. I remained seated. Abruptly as if deciding something on the spur of the moment. Skye dug into her oversized baby bag and withdrew a folded sheet of beige pink paper.

'Read this,' she said thrusting the paper at me.

I hesitated. 'what is it?'

'read it.'

Frowning I took it from her unresisting hand and unfolded it.

 _Certificate copy of an entry pursuant birthplace death registration act 1953_

 _Child name and last name: sex: male_

 _Dante Malcolm summers_

 _Father:_

 _name and last name:_

 _Blank_

 _Place of birth:_

 _Blank_

 _Occupation:_

 _Blank_

 _Mother:_

 _Name and last name:_

 _Skye Juliana Anya summers_

 _Place of birth:_

 _Hell's kitchen New York city, New York_

 _Occupation:_

 _Pop artist_

I stared at her. 'you. . . you're the baby's mother?' skye nodded slowly. 'Jamal, I... I don't know how to say this well without. . . just saying it.' She didn't have to say anything. The birth certificate explained so much and so little. Skye had a baby. . . she was a mom. I had trouble taking that in. Skye had a KID!

'Jamal, I need to tell you something. . .' Skye had only just started her career in the music industry how could she be so stupid as to get pregnant? Hadn't she head of plan b? (the pill) kids were for people in their late thirties who had accomplished their dreams, and had mortgage's, steady jobs and serious p's in the bank. Kids were for people who didn't have anything else to do with their lives.

'Jamal are you listening?'

'huh?' I was still trying to wrap my head around the idea that Skye had, had literally just had a baby.

Skye took a deep breath, closely followed by another.

'Jamal you're the father. Dante's our son'


	2. Chapter 2

Skye's words hit me like a bullet between the eyes, I stared, searching her expression for a sign, some sign, any sign that this was some kind of joke, but Skye's expression didn't change. I leaped out of the armchair (a seat I hadn't even realized I had taken) ready to fling her words back at her only my legs started to dissolve so I collapsed back down. My gaze never left Skye's face. I didn't speak. Couldn't speak. Couldn't think, certainly not over the sound of my own heart pounding like a heavyweight boxer's blows.

I sat waiting, willing, wishing for Skye to take back her words.

 _Ha! not really._

 _Just joking_

 _Pranks on you_

 _Had you going there_

But she didn't say any of those things.

It wasn't true.

How could it be true. We had been so careful…well I think I had, I had a bit to drink that night,

My stomach was heaving. Dry heaving. My body started to shake, starting deep inside and working outwards like ripples to the surface of a pond. My heart wasn't the only thing that was pounding. My head was beginning to hurt. As I remembered more and more about my night with skye despite my efforts to forget it.

I started to remember things I didn't want to

I remembered more and more about my night with Skye despite my efforts to block it out…not that she was not an attractive woman but…but I was gay I just, I couldn't, I remembered Champaign, talking with Skye, her violet hair draping flatteringly over her shoulder her brown eyes looking almost gold under the lighting, we spoke about our families, how we were outcasts unaccepted and then she had played piano and we had created this beautiful song. . . one thing had led to another and then. . .

We had kissed.

And we drank some more.

made out.

Drank some more.

And made out some more.

And then a few minutes later, we searched for a room. I remember Skye giggling as we went across the hallway holding hands, I think I'm not really sure. And I had the Champaign bottle in my other hand, not Champaign but another alcoholic drink. I can't remember what. We went into the first room we came to and shut the door. And I took another swig of my drink. And skye giggled. And we started kissing.

More snapshots.

The whole thing well. . . it was over before it had really began. It had been a blink and you'd miss it sprint, not a practiced and polished marathon. To tell the truth, I was quite disgusted, I remember thinking, _what was I thinking?_ So how could an encounter that lasted. . .

No, that was the wrong word. It hadn't lasted. It wasn't meant to last. And certainly not in the shape of a…of a…

'oh my god…'

My gaze fell away from Skye to the still sleeping contents of the buggy.

A baby.

A child.

My child.

'I don't believe you' I was on my feet again 'my names not even on the birth certificate how can you be sure it's mine?'

Skye's lips tightened; her brown eyes turned obsidian dark. Her expression hardened like she'd been turned to stone.

'I don't sleep around Jamal' she stated icily 'and If you say that again I'll slap your face. Fyi I couldn't put your name down on the birth certificate because you were not there when I registered Dante's birth. I was told I could only put your name down as the dad if we were married or if you were present…and you werent' she glared at me. I stared at her, finding it harder and harder to breathe. Then skye sighed.

'Look, I…I didn't come here to fight with you, that wasn't my intention.'

'Then why come?'

Skye fished in her pocket for her cigarettes. She took one out and it was almost at her lips when she unexpected snapped it in two. Tobacco drizzled onto the carpet. Skye dropped the two ends into her pocket before running a shaky hand through her hair.

'Jamal, I need to talk to you but im running out of time.'

'I don't understand are you in some sort of trouble?'

I didn't understand a lot of things. Skye had turned up at my house and thrown a bomb into my entire life. A bomb that was still sleeping peacefully in its buggy.

'How. . .how come you didn't have an abortion?' (insensitive I know but I couldn't handle a…a baby right now I had just gotten with Derek this would wreck everything, as Derek was not the family type)

Skye regarded me, then shrugged. A shrug which was meant to mean very little but combined with her somber expression, showed just the opposite.

'Jamal, I did think about it. I thought of nothing else for days and weeks. I even went to a doctor so that he could send me to have the procedure done. But in the end I didn't.

'why not?'

'because from the time I found out I was pregnant, Dante never felt anything less than real to me so how could I go through with it? I just couldn't do it'

'did you…did you think about giving him up for adoption when he was born?

Skye studied me. Really studied me. Her face a mask. 'you blame me' she said quietly

'no. no, I don't. I just. . .I'm trying to wrap my head around all of this' trying and failing.

'I took one look at Dante and I couldn't do that either. My sister did her best to persuade me to give him up because of my singing career you know how it is… but I just couldn't do it. my family still don't even know I was pregnant only my sister and well now Dante's here… you' skye's eyes shimmered with unshed tears. 'but the first time I looked at Dante, he felt like the only thing I had left in the whole world. If I lost him, I'd have nothing. . .

'why didn't you tell your family?' I didn't know what else to say, how to react to that. How could ten forgettable minuets of not much turn both our lives inside out and upside down like this?

'why didn't you let me know?' the faintest of smiles.

'what would you have done jamal?'

'I…I…I don't know but to go through all that alone skye…'

'Jamal, you had trouble holding a bag containing a poop filled nappy. You held him like he was a ticking bomb. So what is it you think you could've done?'

My blank look was answer enough. I guess

'exactly' said Skye in a husky smoker's voice 'that's why I didn't even give your name when my sister and the hospital asked about the father.'

'but your sister still let you stay after the baby was born?'

'it was temporary accommodation Jamal, I'm not poor…besides I've already found myself a nice place to live in?'

'is that why you and the baby are heading to L.A' I asked Skye nodded. She glanced down at her watch.

'Jamal, could you do me a favor?'

'what?'

'could you look after Dante for a while? I have a to go to the mall to pick up some diapers and other stuff.'

Hell, No! 'why can't you take it with you?'

'stop calling him "it". and dante gets grouchy if his moved so soon after falling asleep. He'll wake up and cry for ages'

How exactly was that my problem? … (I still didn't buy this)

Except that the baby was supposed to be. my . . .my. . .mine. I started to turn to look at it, but I couldn't. If I didn't look, didn't. . . acknowledge it, then it wouldn't be real. None of this would be real (and I could get back to my lit life with Derek and making music…amen).

How I wished there was someone standing in front of me to tell me what to think and how to feel. Because I didn't have a clue. All I felt was. . .scared (this was nothing like how it had been with Lola my so called daughter that had turned out to be Luscious how did I know Skye hadn't shacked up with luscious and this wasn't just some pathetic joke they were both playing on me…no I couldn't allow myself to believe Skye would be that…that cruel) scratch that terrified. Heart thumping, cold sweating, sick to my stomach, mind numbingly terrified.

'What did Skye want from me?'

'Please, Jamal,' Skye wheeled 'I'll be back long before he wakes up, I promise he'll be asleep for a good couple hour now.'

'Skye if he wakes up I wouldn't have a clue what to do.' And god knows that was the honest truth we had never actually had small babies in our family. Like newborn babies well of course there had been Hakeem but Me and Dre had been quiet young so we never actually had to help out with him, sooo I was screwed.

'you won't have to do anything. I'll be back twenty minutes' tops or less. Ok?' Skye was already heading out of the living room and into the hallway towards the front door.

'you can't just dump him on me' I protested

'at least your calling dante "him" now rather than "it". '

'Skye, I'm serious,' I said. 'No way is you leaving a baby here'

'Get your head out of your ass Jamal, I'm coming back aren't I?

'you can't leave your baby here' I insisted, my tone broken-glass sharp with panic. (I was just about managing myself I couldn't be responsible for a tiny little life especially after what had happened with Freda the panic attack… just no) 'I was going out' I lied

'yeah, but not immediately. You said you were waiting for the courts to get back with the dates for Freda's hearing. I'll be back soon.' Skye was at the now- open front door. 'and he's not just "my" baby. His yours too. Remember that.'

'Skye, wait a second. This isn't right. You can't just- 'but she was already heading down the hallway and into one of the shiny steel elevators 'see you in a minuet.'

'why don't I shop for the things you need and you can look after your baby' I called after her. Skye turned around but didn't come any closer. Her gaze kept skidding away from mine. If I didn't know any better, I would've thought she was only a breath away from tears.

'Jamal what brand of diapers do you buy for newborn babies? What kind of milk do they need to drink? What needs to go on his skin after his bath? What cream do I use when he has nappy rash?'

'well you're going to get all that now aren't you?' I pointed out. 'So just tell me what to buy and I'll get it'

'Jamal what's wrong with you? Are you worried his going to jump up and bite your face off or something? His A two-week old baby not the next Freda- Skye closed her eyes and breathed when she caught sight of the grimace that crossed my features- sorry. It's just I'll be back soon okay? And then we can have a proper talk'

No it wasn't okay. And I didn't have it in me to talk about anything else with Skye. I wanted _needed_ her to go away with her baby and never come back, if only I could go back to bed and erase this day, hell this week, wake up and start all over again. With increasing frustration, I watched as Skye hopped into the elevator and watched her until the doors pinged shut the knot in my stomach grew tighter. And I went back indoors to my half a million-pound house/ apartment. I wanted to slam the front door and keep on slamming it until the thing fell off its hinges, but I couldn't handle the baby waking up before Skye had returned.

I had a kid. Called dante. My son…

Oh god…

what was I going to do?

Derek…

What was Derek going to say?

And my brothers?

Luscious?

Cookie?

The press?

Oh god…

The doorbell rang.

Skye. She'd come back. Praise god. But that was quick…oh…I got it now. She was going to tell me it was all a joke, probably set up by Hakeem he loved to play jokes (god knows this wasn't the time but I was still relieved) this was exactly the kind of stunt he would pull Hakeem by name and Hakeem by nature. If this was his idea of a wind up then when I got hold of him, it'd be on! I wrenched open the door.

'hiya. Jamal Lyon?' the post man asked cheerily in a daze I took the letter the postman held out, and nodded well smiled a pathetic thank you, but he was already on his way down the hall.

Shutting the front door, I half fell, half leaned against it. I didn't want to move from the spot. And I certainly didn't want to go into the living room. To tell the truth, I was petrified to go back in there. And if I stayed still, closed my eyes and waited, then maybe just maybe none of this would be real,

I placed the fan and junk mail onto the table in the hall. On autopilot, I tore open the envelope addressed to me which said urgent. It was the date for Freda's court hearing. Feeling icy-cold and very alone, I looked down at the sheet of paper in my hand.

The hearing it was… it was tomorrow…

In the sitting room, the baby started to cry.

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